Southern Charm: The Outtakes
by Meikela
Summary: A series of outtakes from my story, Southern Charm. You probably should go read Southern Charm first if you haven't already, as these won't make much sense unless you do. Just sayin' :
1. Outtake 1 First Impressions

**A/N: My first story, ever, has gone over 500 hundred reviews and has been nominated for an award. As a thank you to all of my lovely readers, I thought I'd post an outtake from Southern Charm. This is Chapter 6 - I've got the b.l.u.e.s. from Jasper's point of view. I know some of you were hoping for this, so enjoy! And as always, thanks for all of the reviews, favoriting, and alerting. You have made my first experience as a fan fiction writer amazing! **

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Outtake I – First Impressions

_**6/30/2002, 22:30 – JPOV**_

Zac had called me in at nine because one of the servers, Steve, had gone home sick; apparently he had the stomach flu. Since I lived right across the street from the bar, I was the go to guy in situations like these, but I couldn't really understand why they needed me at all. It was slow as hell. I leaned up against the bar and sighed. I didn't mind helping them out, but I had classes early the next morning and didn't want to be here until all hours of the night. "If it stays like this, I'll let you go in a few," Zac noted from over my shoulder. "We're not typically this slow on Sundays."

"No worries, it's just that I have class in the mornin' and don't want to be here until close, if that's okay?" I replied, turning to face Zac directly. Mary, the other server on duty came up to the bar and placed an order – Zac just nodded to me in recognition of my request. I loved working here. The people were amazing and the music was a great side benefit. I wasn't really into blues music before I started, but there were some talented musicians playing here that had definitely changed my mind and expanded my musical horizons. I had even bought a guitar and started taking lessons in my spare time at the music store located below my apartment.

My sister Rosie and I had moved here from Texas just over a month ago. She was accepted at the University of Chicago and was pre-law. I took another path and had enrolled at the police academy. We found a two bedroom loft on Halsted just north of Lincoln Park and were sharing it. We were twins and got along pretty well for siblings although we were as different as night and day. Rosie was fiery and outspoken while I was laid back and introspective. The week we moved in I was exploring the neighborhood and noticed the help wanted sign in the window of the blues bar across the street from us. The rest is history. I had met a lot of great people working here and at the police academy; I was settling in well and happy that we made the move to Chicago.

Rosie was having a blast. I had introduced her to one of my classmates from the academy, Emmett, and they had hit it off right away. In fact, she'd been spending more time over at his place than ours. I asked her this morning if she thought maybe they were moving too fast, but she said that she knew that he was the one. How on earth she knew that after only a month was beyond me, but he seemed to treat her well and that was enough for me. Plus, Emmett and I were becoming great friends too. My only concern was that he kept trying to set me up on blind dates with girls he knew – saying it would be great if I could double with him and Rosie. I hadn't gotten the courage up yet to tell Emmett I was gay – I was trying to keep it quiet since the police department wasn't always the most welcoming to gays and lesbians. Sighing again, I promised myself I would tell him soon. I didn't think he would have a problem with it, but you never knew.

Turning back to check on my tables, I almost fell over when the door opened and the most beautiful man I'd ever seen walked into the bar. He was tall with a lean build, but had broad shoulders and what had to be the best ass in the world. "Sit in my section, sit in my section, sit in my section," I prayed under my breath and watched as he promptly made his way to a table in Mary's section. "Fuck!" Looking around, I found Mary on her way back to the bar and basically attacked her. "I'll give you twenty if you let me take that table in the back?"

Mary glanced at the new customer over her shoulder and gave me a wink, "I see how it is. No need to pay me, I was getting ready to take my break anyway. Go ahead and have at it," she teased.

"You are a goddess among women," I replied and pushing off from the bar, made my way over to the table. "Welcome to b.l.u.e.s., what can I get for you tonight?" I drawled, playing up my Texas roots a bit. The view up close was even better than from afar. But the dim lighting in the bar kept him in the shadows and he replied without even looking at me. _Look up, damn it! _

"A double scotch on the rocks," he said, his attention focused on the band instead of me.

"Comin' right up," I noted. "I'll be back in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

I walked back to the bar and put in his order with Zac, who was looking at me in amusement. "What?" I said snarkily.

"Now are you glad I called you in?" he asked, smirking.

"Shut up – have you seen him? That's my dream man right there," I teased back.

"Well, you may be his dream man too – he couldn't take his eyes off of you as you walked back to the bar."

"Really?" I said, with a hopeful expression on my face.

"Really," Zac replied, shaking his head at me. "Here's his drink, try not to jump him in the middle of the floor, okay?"

I just snorted out a laugh and headed back to my obsession for the evening. "Here you go - one double scotch on the rocks. Are you wantin' to start a tab or pay as you go?" I asked, leaning across him to place his drink on the table. As I straightened up to hear his response, our eyes met and I was lost. Absolutely done in. _What the fuck? _His jade green eyes were filled with such sadness that it took my breath away. In that moment, I wanted to do anything and everything to make this man smile. I gazed at his hair, trying to determine what color it was and gave up. It was a darkish brown, with blond and red highlights and messy as hell. I just wanted to run my hands through it for hours. _Jesus, get a hold of yourself, Jasper, before you start drooling!_

"Um, what?" he asked, looking up at me in confusion. Maybe I wasn't the only one having a moment?

"Are you wantin' to start a tab or pay as you go? If you want to start a tab, I'll be needin' your credit card. If not, it's $7.00 for the drink," I repeated with a smile. The sadness I had seen in his eyes a few moments ago was changing to something else, I just couldn't figure out what yet.

"I'll start a tab; just keep them coming," he responded, reaching for his wallet and pulling out a credit card. He handed it over to me and I took it over to the bar for Zac to run. I was about to look and get his name from the card when I felt the hair on the back of my neck stand up. Glancing over my shoulder, I caught him checking out my ass. With a smirk, I waited until his eyes met mine and raised an eyebrow – did he need something? He shook his head once and directed his attention back to the band. I handed his card over to Zac, directing him to start a tab for my table. Once he'd finished running it, I grabbed it from his hand and walked back to the angel at table 10.

He was moping about something. I was a good reader of body language and the way he was slumped in his chair told me that he wasn't here to enjoy the music. Someone was drowning their sorrows. As I reached the table, I placed his credit card in front of him. He held up his nearly empty drink and said with a self-deprecating smirk, "I'll be ready for another when you need to come back this way for your other tables."

I just winked and replied, "Will do."

Back at the bar, I gave Zac the order and tried to gather up my courage. I was going to get him to smile if it took me all night. I had never felt such an instant connection to someone before and tried to wrap my head around it. I wasn't the most experienced of gay men, but I was pretty sure that Mr. Magnificent played for my team – but you never knew. Yes, I wanted to throw him down on the table and have my way with him, but I wanted to know what was bothering him even more. Someone that beautiful should never look that sad.

I watched surreptitiously as he pulled up another chair and put his feet up. He slouched down further in the chair and tossed back the rest of his drink. _Slow down, hard charger_, I thought. _Getting smashed isn't going to solve any of your problems_. Shaking off my worries, I tried to wrap my head around the feelings I was experiencing. I had only dated one person before – Peter, but I'd never felt like this with him. Peter was a good friend and the only other gay man that I was aware of in my small home town back in Texas. I guess you could call us fuck buddies more than boyfriends, but it wasn't like there was a hell of a lot to choose from. Being out and proud deep in the heart of Texas wasn't exactly easy and I would be forever grateful to Peter for his friendship as I came to terms with my sexuality. He had been there when I came out to my folks and Rosie, promising me that it would be okay. I had expected the worst and was shocked when they accepted me for who I was unconditionally. I was especially worried about the reaction of my former military father, but he took it in stride. In fact, he seemed more upset about the fact that I was moving to Chicago to become a police officer than the idea that I was gay. Zac's insistent calling of my name brought me back to the present and I just shrugged in embarrassment as I took the drink from him. I took a deep breath and resolved to talk to my boy.

I arrived at the table and waited for him to look up at me. "Here's another drink. Still doin' okay or can I get you something else?" I asked with a stupid grin on my face. _Way to make an impression Jasper._

"I'm good for now, thanks," he replied, reaching for the new drink in what I took for a gesture of dismissal. I wasn't about to give up yet, though. _Time to man up, Jasper!_

"Will anyone be joining you tonight?" I asked. _Please say no, please say no…_

"Um, nope," he stated. _Score!!!_ But then he mumbled something under his breath that I couldn't hear.

"What was that? I didn't catch that last bit," I asked, wanting desperately to know what was going on in that head of his.

"Nothing – just muttering to myself," he responded.

"Well, you know what they say about talking to yourself…" I teased. _Lame, Jasper, lame!_

He laughed softly and said, "I don't think it's that bad yet." His laughter was like manna from heaven. I would pay millions of dollars to hear it again.

"Good to know," I replied with a grin. _Okay, Jasper, you can do this. Take a deep breath and just ask. _"Look, I'm fixin' to be off for the night in about 10 minutes. Would you mind some company?" I inquired, hoping that he would say yes. I watched as a range of emotions played across his face – surprise, nervousness, and then fear?

"Um…" was the only response I got and I started backtracking immediately. Apparently I needed to get my gaydar readjusted.

"Oh, sorry - I just thought… No worries…" I said apologetically and started to walk away back to the bar. _Idiot, idiot, idiot!_

Just then I heard, "Oh God, NO! Um, I mean yes, I wouldn't mind some company," he nearly shouted from behind me.

I wasn't about to give him time to change his mind. "Excellent – I'll be back in a jiffy and I'll bring another drink with me," I replied, smiling widely at him and nearly running back to the bar.

"Zac!" I called, watching the older man raise an eyebrow and walk towards me. "Ummm, do you think I can take off now?"

"Sure, Mary should be back from her break in about five minutes. Why don't you start closing your tickets and then you can take off," he said with a smirk. "Got big plans all of a sudden?"

"Maybe – we'll see," I responded with a grin. "Can you get me another double scotch on the rocks and a Pepsi?"

"Will do," he said, shaking his head at me and walked off to fill the order. I closed out the two tables I had remaining and handed them off to Mary. Kissing her on the cheek, I thanked her again for allowing me to take her table. Grabbing the drinks from Zac, I walked back over to Mr. Magnificent. Placing the glasses on the table, I waved off his attempts to move his feet off of the chair to make a seat for me. "You look comfortable; I'll just grab a chair from one of the other tables," I noted.

I grabbed a chair from the empty table to the left and pulled it as close to his as I could and still be considered appropriate. Wishing that I was old enough to drink legally - I definitely could use the courage right about now - I instead took a large gulp of my Pepsi. "Thank God, I needed that. So, the name's Jasper…" I said, wiping the condensation from the glass off on my jeans and offering my hand for a shake.

"Edward," He replied, placing his hand in mine. I held onto it a bit longer than necessary, but the touch of his skin against mine was divine.

"Edward, huh? I wouldn't have figured you for an Edward," I said with a smirk. I very well couldn't tell him that I'd named him Mr. Magnificent in my head.

"Really? I can't say that my first thought would have been Jasper, either," he said defensively. _Shit! Fix it, Jasper, fix it!_

"Don't get me wrong, I like Edward. Mine's a family name – could have been worse, I suppose. I could have been named after my Uncle Cletus," I noted with a grin. _Oh my God, why are you bringing up Uncle Cletus, he doesn't care!_

"Oh my God," he laughed heartily, "You're right, Jasper is definitely the lesser of two evils!" I sat there for a moment lost in the sound of his laughter and then realized that if I wanted him to talk; I needed to continue the conversation.

"I haven't seen you around here before, you new in town or just visitin'?" I inquired. _Have I seen you around here? Smooth move, Jasper. _Rolling my eyes at myself internally, I waited to see if he would respond to my lame question.

"No, I'm originally from Chicago – actually Naperville – but was here visiting my brother in Lincoln Park. I've been living in Virginia for the past two years," he replied. _An out of towner? No!!!_

"Virginia? You work out there or somethin'?" I inquired.

"I was doing my internship. Now I'm getting ready to start my residency program," he said.

No way was Edward old enough to be a doctor. I had him figured for being only a couple of years older than me. "A doctor, huh? Fancy that. You don't look old enough to be a doctor," I remarked.

"I'm 26, I finished my undergrad early. You don't look old enough to be serving drinks," he teased back.

_Oh shit! He's going to freak when he finds out how old I am._ "I'm old enough to serve drinks, just not drink them. Liquor law says you have to be eighteen to serve, twenty-one to drink em'," I said, toasting him with my glass of Pepsi. _Wait for it, wait for it – here comes the brush off…_

"So, why are you hanging out with an old man like me and not your friends or girlfriend? The night is still young," he asked curiously.

_Girlfriend? WTF? And I thought __**my**__ gaydar was broken…_ "Well, I have school in the morning – I'm attendin' the police academy. I just moved here a few weeks ago from Texas with my twin sister and haven't really had any time to make a lot of friends yet. And no _**boyfriend**_, either," I responded with a wink, holding my breath while waiting for his response. Was I wrong? I didn't think so, but again - you never knew.

There it was again, that expression of fear. I guess that was my answer. Grabbing my glass, I stood up and said, "Sorry, I guess I read the signals wrong. I apologize if I bothered you…" I trailed off, embarrassed at getting it so wrong, not to mention, extremely disappointed.

"No!" Edward exclaimed loudly, garnering looks from the tables around us. "Please sit back down," he said in a quieter voice. "It's not that, I just…"

"You just what?" I asked, growing frustrated with the mixed messages he was sending.

"I just can't … look, I'm in the military," he explained in a low tone of voice. _Fuck! Okay – back-up plan, Jasper, back-up plan._

"Oh, shit. Sorry – listen, why don't we go somewhere a little more private then? I'd like to get to know you a little more and my apartment is right across the street. I room with my twin, but she's staying at her boyfriend's place tonight. We can talk without being interrupted," I noted, pleading with my eyes for him to say yes. I wasn't ready to let him go yet.

"If you are sure, I'd love to," he said, and then looked surprised at his response. Hell, I was surprised at his response and did a little jig on the inside.

"Um, okay. Let me go settle your tab and we'll head out," I said with a nervous grin and made my way over to Zac. Edward followed close behind me and settled the tab with Zac.

Zac, being the smartass that he is, couldn't resist one last comment. "You boys have a good night," he said. "Be safe."

"Will do – Zac," I promised with a wink, "See you tomorrow."

_**06/30/2002, 22:35 - JPOV**_

"Jasper, are you sure about this?" Edward asked as we exited the bar. _Am I sure? I haven't been surer of something in my entire life…_

"You aren't a serial killer or anything, are you?" I joked, smirking.

"I'm not, but I could be. You really shouldn't invite strangers back to your place," he cautioned.

"Look, I know that we don't really know each other, but I can tell you need someone to talk to and I'm interested in learning more about you, Edward. Besides, Zac knows that I left with you and if I don't show up for work tomorrow, he'll know whose description to give to the police," I replied with a laugh. "Now, are you comin' or what?"

"Yes," he replied, following me as I crossed the street. The first floor of my building was a music store and the entrance to our loft was at the side of the building. I unlocked the door and disengaged the alarm. Turning slightly, I gestured for Edward to follow me up the stairs. As I unlocked the door, I tried to shake off the nerves. _Edward said yes! Edward was going to be in my apartment. Now what?_

"Home sweet home," I said sheepishly, holding the door open for Edward to enter. I gestured towards the couch for Edward to take a seat. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable. Can I get you somethin' to drink? I have some beer if you are interested?"

"I'll take a beer, thank you," he replied. I watched as he took in my apartment and then strode off to the kitchen to retrieve the beer.

"You have a lovely home," I heard him call out as I made my way back to the living room.

"Thanks. My sister and I were lucky to find something that was close to both work and school. She attends the University of Chicago and works part-time at the bookstore there. Once we moved in I found out that b.l.u.e.s. was hiring servers; it has worked out perfectly," I rambled. _Shut up – Jasper!_ "So….you want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Talk about what?" he evaded, quirking an eyebrow at me in attempt to avoid my question. I wasn't buying it though.

"Whatever has you looking like your dog was run over and drowning your sorrows in double scotches on the rocks?" I shot back.

He sighed and said, "I told you earlier that I was here visiting my brother. We had a fight and basically, I left without saying goodbye to him. It's just we've been having the same argument the entire time I've been home and I'm tired of him not supporting me."

"What was the fight about?" I queried.

"I joined the Navy in medical school. They offered me a full scholarship, plus room and board, in exchange for completing my internship, residency, and four years of service at Navy hospitals. Carlisle, my brother, thinks I'm absolutely insane - that I'm basically throwing my life away for the next 8 years. But, I honestly couldn't see a better solution to paying for school. I didn't want to come out of school owing over $200,000 and Carlisle and his wife Esme have a 6-year-old daughter and just bought a new house. If they had had to pay for my education, they would never have been able to afford the house."

"How is that going to work though? If you are gay, and I'm assuming you are from the way you were checking out my ass earlier," I quipped, tossing him a cheeky grin, "isn't this going to be very difficult for you?"

"It's that whole 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' thing. During my internship, I pretty much kept to myself. I didn't date and threw myself into work. I figure I can do the same thing during my residency and no one will ever have to know that I'm gay. I'll be so busy with work that I won't have time for a relationship anyway," he replied with a sad smile.

"True, but that's a hell of a sacrifice to make. No dates, no relationships, nothing for however long. I'm not sure I could do that," I offered. "I give you credit for doing it, I think it's great that you are doing this for your family and for our country, but I'm just not sure I could push away that side of myself for that long."

"If I'm being totally honest Jasper, I'm not sure how I'm going to do it either. But, I've always been a bit of a loner and even though I'm 26, I've never really had a serious relationship. I just threw myself into school and then work. Don't get me wrong, I've dated some, but I guess I haven't ever found that person that would make me second guess this choice," he explained, looking down at the floor. "Besides, it's not like guys are falling down over themselves to get to me. I'm pretty much a plain Jane."

Ok, now the boy was just delirious. "Are you shittin' me, Edward?" I exclaimed, completely at a loss as to how he could not know.

"Huh?" he asked, looking confused.

"Edward, you are absolutely, positively gorgeous. I nearly fell over when you walked into the bar tonight. Hell, half of the people in the room were eye fucking you. I didn't think I would even have a chance until I caught you checking me out," I said passionately. I had to touch him and reached over to grab his hand and squeeze it gently in reassurance. "Edward, you are a beautiful man, inside and out."

He lifted those beautiful green eyes to mine and gave me a searching look, almost as if he was trying to determine if I was telling the truth or not. Was he really not aware of his affect on others? How was this amazing man so insecure? He brought our entwined hands up to his mouth and brushed his lips across my knuckles. I felt my dick twitch in my jeans and tried to concentrate on what he was saying. "Thank you. I think you are beautiful as well," he said quietly.

My heart quit working for a moment and then restarted at a frantic rate. I wanted to kiss this man but I wasn't sure if that was what he wanted. When he released my hand, I took a chance and moved so that I was kneeling next to him on the couch. His eyes were still locked with mine when I placed my hands on either side of his face. "Stay still, I just want to try somethin'," I whispered, moving slowly to give him a chance to say no. I leaned in and brushed my lips against his tentatively. I began to pull back when I felt his hand reach up and cup the nape of my neck and bring me back to him. Edward placed the sweetest kisses on my cheeks and my closed eyes before finally, finally kissing me again. I was lost – completely lost in the feeling and taste of this glorious man as he deepened the kiss. Nothing in my life had ever felt this good and within moments I was basically attacking him, tangling my tongue with his in attempt to drink him in.

I moved to straddle Edward's lap and moaned loudly, pressing my arousal against his. "God Edward, you taste so good," I said, my voice husky with desire. Edward ran one of his hands down my back and plunged the other one into my hair, caressing my curly locks. I cupped his face again and kissed him as if my life depended on it. I felt Edward's hands move under my shirt and groaned again. He was going to be the death of me. I broke away from him, gasping for air, and then reached for his shirt, waiting for him to give me a signal that he was in this with me. He nodded shyly and I lifted the shirt over his head, revealing his toned body to me. I bit my lip to stifle yet another moan. Edward removed my shirt as well and pulled back slightly to look me over. _Oh God, what if he didn't find me attractive? _I was about to grab my shirt and put it back on when I felt Edward's hands run over my chest and shoulders.

"Mmmm, Jasper, your body is amazing," he whispered. He placed soft kisses on my neck and then dragged his lips down to suck lightly on my collarbone. I could barely form a coherent thought, the pleasure I was experiencing at just the simple touch of his lips against my skin was overwhelming. He placed his hands on my ass and pressed me into his erection and I knew that I was done for. When Edward flicked a nipple with his tongue, I lost all control and began rocking my hips against his, moaning his name. I wanted those lips back on mine and pushed my fingers into his hair to drag his face up to mine. I kissed him slow and deep, drowning in the sensations of his tongue teasing mine. Needing air, I broke away and leaned back. I wanted him in my bed. I needed to feel his body on mine and the couch just wasn't long enough for both of us.

"How about we take this to a more comfortable venue?" I asked, standing up from the couching and grabbing Edward's hand.

"Are you sure? I don't want to do anything you don't want to do, Jasper," he said, the sincerity of his question making me need him more.

"Edward, I'm sure," I replied, pulling him up from the couch and leading him to my bedroom. As we entered, I flicked on the lamp on the bedside table. "I want to see every inch of you," I murmured. All night we'd been in dim lighting and I wanted to see it all. "Take off your pants," I demanded, quickly removing my own clothes, but leaving my boxer briefs on. I wasn't quite ready to reveal all – what if he found me lacking? I looked up and found Edward staring at me and I couldn't quite make out his expression – was he going to change his mind? He seemed to shake himself out of his thoughts and soon was standing there in just his boxers. I pulled back the comforter and sheet, and lay down on one side of the bed. Patting the space next to me, I went for what I hoped was a seductive look. I arched an eyebrow at him and said, "Come and join me."

Edward walked around to the other side of the bed and got in. He moved until we were lying face to face, but then went no further, as if waiting for me to take the initiative. I was sure he had more experience than I did, and I was nervous, but I couldn't resist him. I leaned in and took his lips in another slow and deep kiss. I could kiss him for hours and be satisfied, but not tonight. Tonight I wanted it all and placed my hands on his shoulders so that I could move him onto his back. I began trailing kisses down his body until I reached his nipples – flicking one and then the other with my tongue – surprised when Edward released a loud moan of pleasure. The sounds this man made were blissful and I continued my quest, running my tongue over his six pack. I glanced up as I heard Edward moan again and I knew what I wanted to do next. Tossing him a wink, I began to pull Edward's boxers down. He lifted his hips to help me and with a quick movement, I pulled them off and tossed them across the room. His thick, hard cock slapped up against his abdomen and I groaned, "Oh Edward, you truly are beautiful." I couldn't take my eyes off of his cock and to my amazement, it twitched in response.

"You have me at a disadvantage, Jasper," Edward replied, eyeing my boxer briefs. "Do you think we can even the score?"

I jumped off the bed, pulling off the offensive article of clothing and crawled back over his body. Edward pulled me down to lay directly on top of him and took my lips in another hungry kiss. As our bodies melded together, I felt our cocks make contact. "Mmmm, Jasper, you feel so good…"

I couldn't help myself and began to grind my dick against his. I wanted this man so much that it was almost incomprehensible. I needed to feel him, so I reached down to enclose his cock in my hand, rubbing my thumb over the slit at the top. I began stroking it slowly, up and down until Edward gasped out, "Jesus Christ!"

"Can I taste you Edward?" I asked, dying to get a taste of him and feel his dick in my mouth.

"Fuck yes," he groaned and propped himself up on his elbows so that he could watch me. I spread his legs to make room for my body and then knelt between them. I kept up the rhythm of my hand on his cock and then leaned down to take the tip into my mouth. I ran my tongue across the slit, tasting the pre-cum that had gathered and moaned, "Mmmm, so sweet." I took his dick deeper, running my tongue against the underside and nearly came myself when I heard him pant, "Unnhhh – Jasper – so good." I wanted him to let go, to just experience this pleasure so I took his hard dick as deep into my throat as I could stand. Edward's hands plunged into my hair, but then gentled, and I wanted to purr like a cat. I slowed my actions as well, licking his cock as I took him in and sucking it as I came back up. "Fuck Jasper, I'm not going to last if you keep doing this…" he warned.

I didn't care. I wanted him to let go. Releasing his cock with pop, I whispered to him, "I don't care – I want you to come for me Edward. I want you to fill my mouth with your cum. I want to taste you." Then I got back to the business at hand. I was going to have it all and proceeded to suck him for all that I was worth. I got my reward when he began to cry out, "Jasper, oh God – fuck! I'm….baby… I'm going to come …" I took him as deep as I could, swallowed around the tip, and drank down everything he gave me. When he was finished, Edward collapsed back into the bed with a groan and a very satisfied look on his face. I licked off the remaining cum from his cock and sat back up.

Edward reached down and pulled me up so that we were face to face. He brought his lips to mine and thrust his tongue between my lips. He groaned and rolled us so that I was lying beneath him, kissing me harder and then breaking off to say, "That was fucking amazing, thank you."

He was thanking _**me**_? "It was most definitely my pleasure," I replied, grinning up at him. I sighed as he began brushing soft kisses on the underside of my jaw and onto my neck and shoulder. My entire body jolted when he lapped at one of my nipples and when he took it gently between his teeth, I moaned loudly.

"It feels like you have a rather large problem that needs tending to," he murmured, pressing his reawakened arousal against my cock.

"Fuck, Edward," I hissed, grinding my dick against his. I couldn't take it – I was going to die from this, I was certain. His mouth continued to trail down my body and I felt like I was going to explode when he wrapped his hand around my cock and began stroking it slowly while sucking my balls into his mouth. "Unnhhh, shit – that feels…" I trailed off, biting my lower lip to silence the loud moans that were eminent. I had to see him, so I propped myself up, much like Edward had done, and watched as he placed his mouth on my cock.

"Do you like that Jasper?" he asked seductively, releasing me and licking up the underside of my dick. "Tell me what you want, baby. I want to make you feel as good as you made me feel."

If he didn't stop soon, I was going to come. I felt this sudden need to have him inside of me, but I'd only ever bottomed one other time. I preferred to top, but this was Edward, and everything was different. I wanted him to make me his. "I want to feel you inside of me, Edward," I replied huskily, reaching down to tangle my hands into his hair while he continued his ministrations on his cock.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I don't have anything with me."

Never let it be said that I'm not prepared. I reached into the night stand drawer one-handed and pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube. "I'm 100% sure," I replied, handing them to Edward.

He took the essentials from me and laid them by my hip. Crawling back up my body, Edward took my lips in a frenzied kiss, thrusting his tongue deep inside my mouth. He then moved to kneel between my spread legs, placing kisses on the back of my thighs as he pushed them up towards my chest. I felt exposed and a bit anxious, but resolved to keep going. Closing my eyes, I felt Edward squirt some lube around my hole and then gently ease one finger in. He moved his long finger in and out slowly, and I thrust upwards involuntarily as he brushed against a spot deep inside me that I wasn't even aware existed. "Fuck, that feels like heaven," I groaned, relaxing against the intrusion. Within moments, Edward added another finger and I felt him spread them apart to stretch me out. It wasn't exactly comfortable and I began to get nervous at the thought of having to make room for Edward's rather large cock. I don't mind a bit of pain with my pleasure, but I'm not a masochist or anything.

"Am I hurting you, Jasper? I can stop if you want me to," Edward questioned and I opened my eyes to find him staring up down at me with a concerned look on his face. The last thing I wanted to do was stop, but I needed to warn him that he needed to be gentle.

"Don't stop!" I exclaimed. "You feel amazin'- it's just …" I trailed off, embarrassed.

"Just what, Jasper?" he demanded, and I nearly laughed at the role reversal from earlier in the night.

"I've….Edward, um, I've only done this once before and you're awful big…so, please – just be gentle with me," I said hesitantly. I turned to look away from him, not wanting to see his disappointment in my inexperience.

"Look at me Jasper," he commanded, and he didn't continue speaking until I finally met his gaze with mine. "I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to do. If you want me to stop at anytime, just tell me and I will. I only want to bring you pleasure, not pain." He placed a kiss against the inside of my knee and resumed his actions, stretching me even further. I relaxed again, sure that I was safe in his arms, and hummed with pleasure as he inserted a third and final finger. His fingers never stopped and at the same time he leaned down to kiss the tip of my cock. Each stroke of his fingers began to bring enjoyment and I wanted him inside of me already.

"Ooohh, fuck – Edward," I yelled, lifting my hips in rhythm his fingers. It felt so good.

"Are you ready for me, baby?" he asked, leaning back and removing his fingers and reaching for the condom. Tearing open the wrapper, he rolled the condom over his hard length and poured more lube over his cock and around my hole. I wasn't going to last much longer.

"Fuck yes," I hissed, "Please, Edward, I need to feel you inside of me!"

He positioned his dick at my entrance and gently pushed his way in. I tensed at first until he whispered, "Relax, baby, I'll take care of you." At first it was painful, not going to lie. Peter hadn't been as large as Edward and it had been a long time. I forced myself to relax and concentrate on the fact that this was Edward and he wouldn't hurt me. Finally, I let out a loud sigh and relaxed around him. "I'm okay, Edward – please, keep goin'," I whispered, clutching the bed sheets in my hands as the feelings of pleasure began to outweigh the pain.

Edward started thrusting in and out slowly, and kept his eyes locked to mine the entire time. He placed his hands on my hips and guided us into a simple rhythm. Our bodies were slick with sweat and the sheer beauty of him in that moment nearly took my breath away. He leaned forward to lap at my nipples. Straightening back up, Edward requested in a husky voice, "Rub your cock for me while I fuck you, baby. I want to watch you."

I reached down between us and took my cock in my hand, trying to match my strokes to the rhythm he had set. "Fuck yes, Jasper. So beautiful…" he whispered and then picked up the pace of his thrusts. "I'm so close…" he moaned.

"Unnhhh, me too…" I gasped, placing my feet down flat on the bed in a desperate attempt to take all of him in. I just wanted to meld the two of us into one entity. The angle allowed him to go deeper and his cock began to brush against that spot deep inside and that was it, "Oh God, oh fuck – I'm coming, Edward, unnhhh."

I felt like every nerve ending in my body was awash with pleasure. I kept my eyes focused on Edward's and watched as he reached his climax. He was beautiful and I knew in that moment that he was it for me. He collapsed on top of me and I wrapped my arms around him, never wanting to let go. "Holy fucking shit, Jasper!" he gasped out.

I tangled my hands into his hair, stroking gently, and chuckled softly, "Holy fuckin' shit is right, Edward. That was, hands down, the best sex of my entire life."

"For me too, Jasper. I've never felt like that before…" he murmured, rubbing gentle circles onto my hip with his thumb. After a few moments, he pushed himself up and disengaged from me. I felt a panging sense of loss.

"Where are you goin'?" I mumbled, wanting to tell him to stay but uncertain if that's what he wanted.

"I'm just running to the bathroom," he reassured. I heard him moving about the bathroom and then heard the water turn on. I was exhausted, but tried to stay awake until he returned. A little while later I felt him cleaning me up with a warm washcloth. I wanted nothing more than to curl up against him for the rest of my life. He left again and when he came back, I murmured, "Stay, please?"

"For a while…" he replied softly, but there was a defeated tone to his voice. I heard him gathering up his clothes and turn off the light. Then he was next to me, pulling me into him and wrapping his arms around me. _This is where I belong_ was the last thought I had before I drifted off to sleep.

_**07/01/2002, 06:00 - JPOV**_

I was awakened the next morning by my friend Emmett's rather loud and obnoxious voice booming across the apartment. "Jasper Whitlock – is there something you forgot to tell me?" he yelled.

_Shit!_ Jolting wide awake I looked around thinking that he had caught Edward and me in bed. This wasn't how I wanted Emmett to find out I was gay. I came to my senses, realizing Emmett wasn't in my room, but neither was Edward. I glanced around again and saw that his clothes were gone. Maybe he was out in the kitchen or living room with Emmett? Dragging on a pair of pajama pants from the dresser by my bedroom door, I stumbled out to the kitchen, looking for Edward, but he wasn't there.

Emmett; however, was standing in front of the refrigerator drinking out of the orange juice carton and waving at something on the door, "Yours, Edward?" he asked, smirking. What the hell was he talking about? I noticed a note attached to the fridge with a magnet, my name scrawled across the folded sheet of paper. Grabbing it, I read it quickly.

_Dearest Jasper,_

_Thank you for an amazing night. I wish that I could stay and see where this could take us, but fate is not on our side. I ship out to Afghanistan today and am obligated to the Navy for the next 8 years. Your care and compassion has given me the courage to face the next phase of my life head on and for that I will be eternally grateful._

_Best of luck as you complete your training at the police academy. Please be safe and take care of yourself – no letting strangers into your house late at night! I wish you nothing but the best…_

_Yours,_

_Edward_

He was gone.

A wave of sadness and frustration washed over me, but I tried to focus on the task at hand. Edward had inadvertently outed me to Emmett. "Is this goin' to be a problem for you?" I asked, scared that I was going to lose my best friend and Edward in the same day.

"Fuck no! I just wish you had felt comfortable enough to tell me yourself," he replied with a reassuring smile.

"Well, I was plannin' on it – but since you are such a nosy mother fucker, you already know," I retorted, waving the private note at him. I pinned it back to the fridge and went back to my room to take a shower. I had to be at class by seven and needed to get ready. I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water run over my body and wash away the tears rolling down my face. I had found my one, and it was over before it even started.

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**A/N: As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated. I bid you adeiu until next Sunday! :-)**


	2. Outtake 2 Comprehension

**A/N: As promised ducklings, here's an outtake from during the 8 years when J & E were apart. Thanks for participating in my poll. I hope you enjoy it and thank you, as always, for your continued support of this story. :)**Outtake II – Comprehension

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_**02-14-2009, 18:04 – JPOV**_

I took another sip from my wine glass and watched as my friends and family celebrated around me. We'd attended Emmett and Rosalie's wedding at Our Lady of Walsingham church earlier in the day and had now moved on to the reception. Rosalie had chosen the Manor House at the Houstonian Hotel as the setting and as I took in the swanky atmosphere, I wondered how much this had set my father back. Not that he couldn't afford it – my folks were very well off. My great grandpapa was an oil baron and my family had more money than they knew what to do with. Rosie and I grew up in upscale Piney Points Village, an affluent suburb just outside of Houston. My years on the force in Englewood had shown me just how lucky we were to grow up with the advantages our parents' money provided. Our folks had seen to it that Rosie and I remained grounded and taught us to give back to those less fortunate than ourselves. Maybe that's why I became a police officer and Rosie was in law school. Our way of giving back was seeing that justice was served, either through law enforcement or the legal system.

Emmett, Rosalie, and I had arrived last weekend so that Rosie and my Momma could finish up some last minute wedding stuff. With mine and Emmett's work schedule and Rosie's course load, our parents had always come to us for visits. This was the first time we'd been back to Texas in years and Emmett's first immersion into our parent's world. My folks had sent a driver to pick us up at the airport and when we'd arrived home, Emmett had literally stood on our front lawn staring up at the massive house in shock. As someone who'd spent the majority of his childhood in the foster care system, Emmett was having a hard time taking it in and I could tell that he was a bit intimidated by it all. Hell, I would be too if I hadn't grown up with it. My life now was so far removed from this that I even had a difficult time adjusting. However, once Rosie and I had taken him to our favorite hole in the wall BBQ joint, he realized we were the same people we'd always been and relaxed.

The wedding had been perfect. Rosalie looked beautiful in her dress and Emmett's smile as she came down the aisle on my father's arm was full of love and admiration. They were perfectly matched and I knew they would have a wonderful life together. I was surprised it had taken them so long to get to this point, but Rosalie refused to get married until she was almost finished with law school. I think Emmett had wanted to propose years ago, but in the end, it was Rosalie that popped the question. Typical Rosalie, if you ask me. They'd called me after they'd celebrated Emmett's affirmative answer and asked me to be best man, an offer I most definitely couldn't refuse. Unfortunately, that role put me a bit more in the spotlight than I wanted to be.

I was preparing for the toast and found myself becoming nervous. I was not a huge fan of public speaking and preferred to observe rather than participate when it came to events like this. But this was my sister and my best friend, so I'd suck it up and make sure I did them proud. I was heading back to main table when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning, I looked into the face of my best friend from high school.

"Peter!" I exclaimed, delighted to see him after all of these years. We'd kept in touch via e-mail and occasional phone calls, but it had been years since I'd set eyes on him. His sister Charlotte was Rosalie's best friend and maid of honor, so I knew he'd received an invitation. He was living in San Francisco now, so I wasn't sure if he'd actually make it back. I held out my hand and when he took it, pulled him in for a hug. "It's been a coon's age, man. How the hell are you?"

"I'm great Jasper," he replied with the same mischievous grin that had gotten us into so much trouble in high school. "I've got someone I'd like you to meet," he added, pulling away from me and reaching back to grab the hand of a man standing just off to his side. "This is my husband Jared," he said proudly, putting his arm around the man's waist and leaning in to him slightly. "Jared, this is my friend Jasper."

I shook Jared's outstretched hand and looked over the man my friend had chosen to share his life with. He was handsome, a little shorter than Peter, with dark hair and dark eyes. "It's nice to finally meet you in person Jared. Anyone who can put up with this one is a saint in my book," I teased.

Jared's eyes twinkled and he replied, "Oh, he's not that hard to handle. But then, I've had six years to train him. It's nice to finally get a chance to meet the man behind so many of Peter's tall tales."

"Hey now!" Peter protested with a grin of his own. "Keep talking like that and you won't be handling anything for a while," Peter retorted, growling at his lover playfully. Turning back to me, Peter asked, "So what have you been up to Jasper? Still fighting crime in the windy city?" Peter started looking around behind me and said, "Where's Paul? I expected to see him here with you…"

I looked down for a moment and then back up into Peter's eyes. "Paul and I broke up about a month ago," I replied quietly. Peter's eyes filled with something akin to pity and I hurriedly continued, "It's okay - it just wasn't workin' out. He couldn't take the fact that I worked nights and what I did for a livin' so we decided we'd be better off apart." Paul and I had been dating for almost a year and he'd never grown used to the dangers of my profession. I understood, but it didn't make it any easier.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Jasper. I know you were really hoping that he was the one."

"Well, I guess if it is not meant to be, it's not meant to be," I noted, and then changed the subject, not wanting to rehash my failed relationship at Rosie's wedding. "Other than that, not much else is new. Emmett and I are plannin' to sit for the Detective's exam in August, so hopefully there'll be a promotion in my future. But enough about me, tell me about the weddin'!" Peter and Jared had married in mid-2008, just before California voters passed Proposition 8. Luckily, while the proposition banned gay marriage, it didn't repeal the marriages that had been performed prior to its passing. Peter worked for the Mayor's office and Jared was a documentary film maker. They were very active in the battle against Prop 8 and continued to work tirelessly in the GLBT community.

"Quick!" Jared quipped. "We heard that Prop 8 was gaining momentum and decided to get married before it passed."

"At least you had the chance," I grumbled, then amended, "although Harris introduced the Religious Freedom and Marriage Fairness Act into the Illinois legislature last week. We'll see where it goes. Hopefully one day we'll all be able to marry our partners, serve in our military without hidin', and have the same rights as everyone else," I added vehemently.

"Amen," Jared replied firmly.

I was about to ask how long they were in town for when Peter's sister Charlotte walked up and reminded me that it was time for the toasts. "I guess I've got to go," I said regretfully. "How long are you guys here for? Any chance of dinner this week to catch up some more?"

"Jared's set to start filming a documentary on global warming this week so we're headed back tomorrow," Peter replied with a sad smile. He pulled me into another hug and continued, "It was so great to see you though. You'll have to come visit us sometime, Jasper."

"Definitely," I responded with a grin. "Jared – it was great to finally meet you. Take care of this fool for me, okay?"

"I will. It was a pleasure to meet you too Jasper," Jared replied, giving me a hug as well. Just before he pulled away, he whispered in my ear, "Keep the faith, Jasper. Your someone is out there just waiting for you to find them." He released me, grabbed Peter's hand, and they walked off toward their table. Peter looked back over his shoulder and gave me a wink and a smile before running his hand down over Jared's ass and copping a quick feel. I chuckled and turned back to Charlotte.

"Same old Peter, huh?" I said laughing.

"Please, Peter never changes," she replied with a smirk. "Are you ready to go toast the happy couple?"

"Ready as I'll ever be,' I responded, following Charlotte back to the head table. As I took my seat next to Emmett, I watched as the newlyweds leaned in to kiss at the demand of the attendees. I hoped that Jared was right and that my someone was out there. I was beginning to lose hope. After Edward, I wasted a lot of time on one night stands and meaningless encounters in clubs trying to recapture the spark I'd found with him. When I met Paul last year, I thought I had finally found it. He was the first person I'd been with who I felt an inkling of the same connection I'd had with Edward and I was disappointed that it didn't work. But if I was honest with myself, I also knew I was settling when I decided to pursue a long-term relationship with Paul. Lost in my thoughts, I almost missed the DJ's cue to start the toast. Swallowing back my nerves, I stood and tapped my spoon against the crystal champagne glass the servers had passed out earlier.

Once I had everyone's attention, I picked up the microphone that was lying on the table and tapped it softly to make sure it was on and then began.

"I'm not one for makin' speeches, so I'll keep this short, simple, and hopefully – Emmett – relatively painless," I said with a wink towards my best friend. "Emmett and I met on our first day at the police academy. I was just sittin' there mindin' my own business when this huge guy plopped down beside me, introduced himself, and proceeded to make cry tears of laughter by doing really awful Austin Powers impressions. That same day, Rosie picked me up from class and I watched as my new 6'7" friend was hit square in the ass by cupid's arrow. Since that day I've seen their relationship grow into something amazin' and I couldn't have wished for better for my sister. Emmett - for seven years I've been proud to call you my friend, but today I'm even prouder to welcome you to our family as my brother. And since you're now part of the Whitlock clan, I pass down this age old advice that our father was given on his weddin' day: 'To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong admit it; Whenever you're right shut up.' I love you both and can only hope to find myself in a relationship as beautiful as yours one day. To Rosie and Emmett…" I finished, raising up my glass.

The crowd echoed my sentiments as I hugged my sister and new brother-in-law. Relieved that I had made it through the toast unscathed, I sat down to listen to Charlotte's speech. I looked out at my parents and saw the love reflected in their eyes for each other and their family. My gaze took in Peter and Jared, arms wrapped around each other. Part of me wished that I'd never met Edward in the bar that night. Every man I'd ever dated had paled in comparison to the memory of a man I'd slept with once, almost seven years ago. Sometimes I wondered if I had built that night up so much in my head that I now had an unrealistic expectation of what constituted a loving relationship. But when I looked at Emmett and Rosalie, Peter and Jared, or even my parents, I saw the same connection that I'd instantaneously felt with Edward. The only thing I could do at this point was trust that if Edward really was my someone; God would find a way for us to meet again.

_**02/14/2009, 18:04 – EPOV**_

Valentine's Day found me elbow deep in the chest cavity of a wounded Iraqi civilian someone dumped at the base gate 30 minutes ago. It was a fucking sad day when _**I **_had to step in and fix the mess a second year surgical resident had made in an attempt to fix a partial aortic transection. Shit, surgery wasn't even my fucking specialty but I knew enough that you didn't crack someone's chest in the middle of the fucking ER. Said surgical resident was now standing in the corner of the room, where I'd placed him to get him the hell out of my way while I fixed his damn mess.

"What the fuck were you thinking, dumbass?" I barked as I made quick work of clamping off the partially severed piece of the man's aorta, prepping it for replacement with a Dacron graft up in the OR. "A fucking first year resident knows better than to open up a patient outside of the OR. What year are you again?"

"S…Second year," the kid stuttered out.

"Get the fuck out of my ER and don't come back until you find your fucking brain. When I get this guy up to the OR, you'd better be standing outside the door with your attending," I said coldly and jerked my head towards the door, gesturing for one of the nurses to boot his ass out of the room. Apparently the surgical attending had his head up his ass letting this idiot rotate through my ER without supervision. I sighed loudly and shook my head in disbelief at the stupidity of Dr. Timmons.

Alarms sounded as the man's blood pressure bottomed out due to excessive blood loss and shock. Within seconds it was over; there was no way I could replace the blood he was losing fast enough. Frustrated, I took the clamp in my hand and launched it across the room. "God fucking damn it! TOD: 18:11." I turned on my heel and exited the room, pulling off the protective gloves, gown, and shield I'd put on when I'd been paged into the ER to clean up this mess. I had been in the middle of a meeting with my commanding officer, who was trying to convince me to sign on for another four years. The Navy was offering me $75,000 in incentive pay and I was seriously considering it. What was another four years? It's not like I had anything to go back to – I barely spoke to my family and I definitely didn't have a wife and kids stashed back home.

I was currently stationed in Balad, Iraq, and on my 7th year of dealing with this bullshit. The Navy had lent my services to the Air Force and Marines to be Chief ER Attending at the joint base. Over the past three years I'd risen through the ranks quickly, mostly due to my propensity to work around the clock and take as many cases as possible. After my residency, I'd become a trauma machine. I could whip an ER into shape in minutes flat, reducing costs overruns by maximizing efficiency and productivity. The Navy loved me because I probably saved them a shitload of money.

I walked down the corridor, not even noticing the folks around me. I had no friends here – there really wasn't a point in getting close to anyone when they were either going to leave or die. As I reentered my CO's office he glanced up at my face and winced at the expression he found there. "Whose ass are you off to kick now, Cullen?" he said, his eyes displaying a momentary pang of sympathy for my intended target.

"Fucking Timmons let a substandard 2nd year resident rotate unsupervised in my ER. He cracked some Iraqi civilian's chest in the middle of the damn trauma room and couldn't figure out what the hell to do next. When I get a hold of Timmons he's going to rue the day he decided to become a doctor," I promised.

My CO shook his head and then said, "Did you give any thought to our earlier conversation? I think if you re-up for another four there's no telling how far you could go. Hell, at the rate you're going, you could probably get your own ER back at San Diego or Portsmouth. You're definitely career military material, Cullen."

"Like I said earlier, let me think about it and I'll get an answer back to you by the end of the week," I replied, excusing myself to go find Timmons and rip him a new one. I headed down the hallway that would take me to the surgical unit. I was just about to round the corner when I heard Timmons yelling at his numbskull resident. I stopped and hid behind the corner; it was unusual to hear Timmons yelling at anyone – he had a reputation for being all touchy feely with his interns and residents.

"Kowalski, are you fucking insane? You don't crack somebody's chest open in the ER! You know better than that!" Timmons shouted. I heard him take a deep breath and then continue in a softer voice, "What the hell happened down there? This isn't like you. You're one of my better residents."

Now that was more like the Timmons I knew and couldn't stand. How did he expect this kid to learn if he patted him on the back every time he fucked up?

"I don't know what happened. He started crashing and the only thing I could think to do was crack the chest. I hate it down there. Cullen treats us like machines, only speaking to people if they've fucked up. He doesn't teach us anything," the kid complained.

"Look, I know Cullen isn't the easiest person to deal with, but he's a damn good doctor. I'll see if I can talk to him about cutting you guys some slack and working with you on procedures," Timmons promised. Their voices faded as they walked away and further into the surgical unit.

So I was a fucking robot, huh? That remark didn't surprise me in the least and wasn't anything I hadn't heard before. As for his remarks about my teaching style, all they had to do was watch me and they'd learn something. That's how I'd come up, why should I make it any different for them? I ran my hands over my face, realizing that I'd been on shift for almost 48 hours and was due for some shut-eye. I'd find Timmons afterwards and discuss his resident's massive screw up later.

I headed back to the CHUS (Containerized Housing Units) I'd been assigned to last year. When I'd first arrived on base, officers and soldiers were housed in tents. During the last year, they'd begun constructing the CHUS which housed anywhere from 2 to 4 people. I only had one roommate at the moment and as I entered the room, I heard noises coming from his bedroom. Great, he must have thought I was still out and decided to rub one out. Could my day get any worse? The last thing I felt like hearing was someone else get themselves off. I nearly turned around and left but decided that I was here and might as well get some sleep.

I'd just started to drift off when I heard voices in the shared living area that separated my bedroom from my roommate's. Wonderful, he must have invited some of his buddies over. I stomped over to the door and yanked it open, intending to tell them to either shut-up or get the hell out when I noticed that something seemed to be wrong. Christopher, my roommate, was a Marine and not one for showing emotion. He was now slumped on the floor sobbing, surrounded by two of his friends. "What's going on?" I asked, not used to seeing a Marine fall apart like this.

"Why do you fucking care, Cullen?" sneered one of the men. "Go back to your cave and leave us the fuck alone."

"Is he hurt?" I continued, ignoring the man's snide comments. I knew that I wasn't well liked on base, mostly due to my standoffish nature and unwillingness to engage with anyone outside of my work in the ER. Christopher had given up on me months ago after weeks of failed attempts to include me in his social circle.

The other man looked up at me and responded quietly, "His father died in a car accident back home."

"Oh," I replied idiotically and shifted around uncomfortably. I'd gotten so good at blocking my own emotions that I had no idea how to handle anyone else's. For the first time in years I felt pangs of sympathy, knowing exactly what Chris was going through since I'd lost my own parents in a car accident. I started to take a step towards him when I caught of his friend's warning glare. Realizing that my presence wasn't welcome and that Chris' friends probably knew best how to comfort him, I retreated back to my bedroom.

I got back in bed, lost in thoughts of the day my parents had died. They had gone out for dinner and I had been ecstatic at having the house to myself for once. Carlisle was in college and living in the dorms which meant that my father only had me to focus on now. It wasn't a pleasant situation since nothing I did seemed to please the man. I was counting down the days until I could escape like Carlisle had. Even though no one was home, I remained in my room, listing to music and reading. I had learned that it was best to keep to myself. Minimizing my interactions with my father went a long way to keeping the peace around here. Apparently the old adage, 'Out of sight, out of mind' worked well with him. I'd lost track of time, caught up in the latest Robin Cook medical thriller when I heard the doorbell. Traipsing down the stairs, I glanced at the clock and realized that it was after 11:00 p.m. My parents had said they'd be home around 9:00 p.m. and I was surprised to find them still out. I opened the door just as the doorbell went off again and found two Naperville police officers on the doorstep. They informed me of the accident and then asked who they should call. I gave them Carlisle's number and sat down at the dining room table, waiting for him to arrive.

I turned over in the bed to lie on my side, listening as Chris' weeping began to quiet as his friends comforted him. I hadn't cried at all when the cops told me my parents had been killed. In fact, although I had been incredibly sad that my mother was gone, my predominant emotion at the time had been relief. Relief that I would no longer have to deal with my father's hateful treatment and relief that I would no longer have to hide who I was. By that point I had known that I was gay but knew I could never come out while I still lived at home. When Carlisle arrived he held me while I cried for our mother and listened as I confessed my shame at not being able to mourn my father. He promised that we would take care of each other no matter what.

I understood now that I would never have made it through that time without Carlisle by my side. A deep sense of shame washed through me as I realized that I had essentially become the very person I hated, my father. In an effort to protect myself from my feelings, I had become a cold and unfeeling bastard - someone who couldn't even offer comfort to their roommate when he needed it most. And now, almost eight years later, I truly understood why Carlisle had fought me so hard on my decision to join the military. He knew that this would happen and he was right. I clutched my pillow tightly, trying to combat the tears that threatened at my comprehension of the monster I'd become. Worse was the fear that I would never be able to find my way back. I was at a crossroads. I could either continue down the path I was on, which although horrible, was at least familiar; or I could choose a new path. The thought scared the hell out of me. There were so many unknowns and what if in the end, I still ended up like my old man? A small voice in the back of my head argued that any path had to be better than the one I was on now and I felt a sense of hope that I could somehow salvage the mess I'd made of my life. I flipped onto my back and began to make a mental list of what I needed to do to turn things around. My first step would be to turn down my CO's incentive offer. I was ready to go home.

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**A/N2: As always, your feedback is greatly appreciated. :) Until Sunday...**


	3. Outtake 3 Disorderly Conduct

**A/N:** This Southern Charm outtake was purchased by coolbreeeze in the FGB auction. Thank you for supporting such a wonderful cause! Special thanks to ICMezzo for her beta work and OnTheTurningAway for pre-reading.

Disorderly Conduct

_**05/14/2010 - 13:45, JPOV**_

Work and therapy appointments kept Edward and I busy when we returned from vacation. Edward was seeing Seth twice a week now, once with Carlisle and once on his own. In addition, he'd been working a couple of extra shifts while Bella was attending a conference in California. The stress of dredging up his childhood and dealing with Dr. Newton on a daily basis was starting to get to Edward, though he tried to hide it from me. Garrett kept me busy as well, increasing my workouts to help me get ready for the physical fitness test the department required before I could return to work. This morning, I left the house before Edward came home so I could attend a workshop at the station on profiling. We texted back and forth throughout the morning and I could tell by the tone of his messages that he was having a bad day. I felt helpless knowing I couldn't be there for him.

Nevertheless, I enjoyed the workshop and the chance to catch up with my colleagues. After enduring endless teasing about the length of my hair and my new boyfriend, I headed to the back of the station to clean out my locker, something neither Emmett nor I had remembered to do. Entering the combination, I opened the door to find my spare uniform hanging in the dry cleaning bag. That's when Edward's comments about seeing me in my uniform came rushing back and I had a brilliant idea. I'd surprise him. It would give us both a chance to blow off some steam and have some fun in the process. Quickly pulling out my belongings, I headed home and changed into my uniform in the garage.

Now, standing outside of our apartment, I tried to rid myself of the nerves that had taken over my body. I couldn't fuckin' believe I was actually goin' to do this. I must be out of my fuckin' mind…or so damn in love with the man on the other side of the door that I'd lost my senses. I'd done a lot in my 26 years on the planet, but role playing hadn't been something I'd even contemplated attempting until today. Summoning my courage, I raised my hand to knock, but before I could, old Mrs. Selkowitz from the across the hall opened her door and said, "Officer, is everything okay?"

Feeling my heart begin to pound in my chest, I turned around to face the older woman. Before I could reassure her that everything was indeed fine, she recognized me and said, "Oh Jasper! I didn't realize it was you. I thought maybe something was wrong." She looked me up and down, then smiled and added, "Don't you look adorable! I've never seen you in your uniform before. Very handsome dear. But why are you standing out here? Did you forget your key?"

Blushing and taking the excuse she'd inadvertently given me, I replied, "Thanks Mrs. S. Yes, I forgot my key. I was just going to knock and get Edward to let me in."

"Okay. I'll leave you to it then," she said. Before she closed the door completely, she popped her head out and winked. "You boys have a good time."

Trying to ignore the fact that old Mrs. S. knew exactly what I was up planning, I turned back and faced our front door. _C'mon Jasper. You can do this. Edward won't think you're insane. He's the one who gave you the idea. Grow a pair and knock on the door already._ Hearing the strains of ABBA music coming through the apartment wall, I knew Edward was home and most likely in the kitchen. I blew out a deep breath and pounded on the door, calling loudly, "CPD, open up!"

_**05/14/2010 – 9:50, EPOV **_

I was having a shitty day. After spending an entire shift listening to Newton bitch, I'd been more than ready to go home. Of course, nothing is ever that easy. When I'd reached Jasper's truck in the parking lot, I realized it had a flat tire. Not being mechanically inclined, I contacted AAA and waited more than an hour for someone to come put the spare on. Then I drove to a garage and had the flat fixed. By the time I finally entered the freeway, it was rush hour. As I reached my exit, the hospital called to let me know that two of the residents scheduled for tonight had food poisoning and wouldn't be in. Food poisoning my ass; they were probably hung over. I wasn't scheduled to work tonight and there was no way in hell I was going in to cover for them. After calling around and securing replacements, I finally arrived home. Eager to see my Jasper, knowing deep down that the only thing that would make me feel better now were his arms around me, I entered the apartment only to find it empty.

It took me a minute to remember that he was at work, attending a workshop or something. He'd been excited when he told me about it yesterday and I remembered smiling at the enthusiasm on his face. I wandered around the apartment, lost without him here, wondering if this is what it would be like when he returned to work. He was fairly certain he would be assigned to the day shift, which meant that our time together would be greatly reduced. Plopping down on the sofa, I patted Cletus absentmindedly as I contemplated the ways our routine would change when Jasper resumed active duty. If I missed him this much after only a day, how the hell would I handle multiple days in a row? Sighing, I turned on the TV, attempting to find something that would distract me from this train of thought.

_**05/14/2010 – 13:52, EPOV**_

Four hours, a nap, and a Top Chef marathon later, I was in the kitchen trying out a new cake recipe. Jasper loved sweets and I loved watching the expression of joy on his face as he ate them. Knowing he was due home soon, I pulled the cake out of the oven and walked into the living room to turn down the stereo. When I turned it on earlier, Joe Cocker's _"You Can Leave Your Hat On"_ came blaring out of the speakers. I grinned, recalling the impromptu strip tease I'd performed for Jasper a couple of days prior. I wasn't wearing a hat or much of anything else by the time we were done, but Jasper didn't seem to mind at all. ABBA was currently playing, the only music I listened to when puttering in the kitchen. Humming along to _"SOS"_, I was looking for the stereo remote when someone pounded on the front door, shouting, "CPD, open up!"

_Fucking asshole neighbor_, I thought as I quickly turned the stereo off and headed to the foyer. It was the middle of the day; he had no right to call the cops on me. Besides, the music hadn't been up that loud. I'd heard from Mrs. Selkowitz that Mr. Daniels complained about everyone, but this was the first time he'd called the cops on me. I hauled the door open, prepared to let the officer at the door know exactly how much of an asshole Mr. Daniels was. Unfortunately, the minute I caught sight of the cop standing in the hallway, I lost all ability to form a coherent sentence.

Taking advantage of my silence, Jasper placed a hand on my chest and pushed me backwards into the foyer. Stepping inside, he closed the door, smirked at me, then said, "We received a report that someone was playin' God awful seventies disco music rather loudly. Is there any truth to that statement, sir?" He leaned back against the door; his arms crossed against his chest as his body language changed to reflect the authority of his position as a police officer. I ran my eyes over him; Jasper in full uniform was a sight to behold and I felt my cock twitch in response. He'd pulled back his chin length hair into a ponytail that he'd tucked under his hat. The light blue color of his shirt made his eyes seem even bluer. He carried the look well, his rangy body filling out the uniform in the most delicious way. His eyes flashed with a mixture of amusement, desire, and love and I was lost. Swearing under my breath, I tried to look as innocent as possible and replied, "I don't have any idea what you are talking about, officer."

"Hmmm," he said, pushing away from the door. "Then you won't mind if I have a look around?"

Stepping to the side, I gestured for him to enter the apartment. He walked toward the living room and I stayed in place, admiring the way the starched pants molded to his ass. When he reached the stereo and hit the power button, the next track on my iTouch started and ABBA's _"Waterloo"_ rang out through the speakers. Glancing over his shoulder, he arched an eyebrow at me and said, "Busted. I'm goin' to have to write you a ticket for disturbin' the peace." He thumbed through the menu and the music switched to _"Lost without You"_ by Robin Thicke.

_Fuck! He knows exactly what Robin Thicke does to me._ My cock throbbed uncomfortably against the denim of my jeans and I reached a hand into my pocket to adjust myself. Catching the movement out of the corner of his eye, Jasper ordered, "Keep your hands where I can see them." Striding towards me, he pushed me up against the wall face first. Using his foot, he kicked my legs apart and grabbed my hands and pressed them against the wall above my head. "Now I'm going to have to search you for concealed weapons." I groaned as he ran his hands over my chest then up and down each leg. When his hand brushed across my erection and cupped it firmly, I pushed back against him as he muttered an expletive under his breath. Clearing his throat, he said, "This feels hard."

It seemed as if my boyfriend was in the mood to play. I decided to see exactly how far he'd go with this. "Do you think it's a weapon, officer?" I asked, rubbing my ass into the erection pressing against me through his uniform pants. "I think you might be packing heat as well," I added with a cocky grin. "Maybe we can work out some sort of arrangement?"

"Are you trying to bribe an officer, Dr. Cullen?" he murmured into my ear as he forced my body into the wall with his. "I'm not that easy to bribe. It'll have to be somethin' pretty special."

"Really? How special are we talking?" I asked, trying to fight back my smile as he nibbled my earlobe. "Do I need to get down on my knees and beg?"

"That might be a good start," he whispered into my ear. Backing away, he gave me room to turn around. I dropped to my knees in front of him. Reaching up, I unbuckled his belt and removed it, setting the equipment laden strap on the floor gently. Pulling his shirt out of his pants, I ran my fingers across his abdomen. Once I unzipped his trousers, I pushed them, along with his boxers, down to his ankles.

"Mmmm, this looks particularly delicious," I said, grasping Jasper's dick firmly in my hand. Stroking it slowly, I leaned in and nuzzled the base, feeling his fingers tangle in my hair. I ran my tongue along the underside of his erection until I reached the top. Sucking him into my mouth, I set a slow pace, wanting to draw this out as long as possible. Concentrating my attention on the sensitive head, I ran my tongue along the ridge then into the slit, lapping up the precum that had already gathered there.

"More," he moaned. "All of me."

Following his instructions, I took him in until I felt the tip of his cock hit the back of my throat. Bobbing my head, I added suction and listened as Jasper directed my actions.

"That's right, suck me," he murmured. I glanced up at him to find him watching my movements, his eyes dark with lust. "Feels so good…you love sucking my cock, don't you?"

Nodding, I reached around and grasped his ass, pulling him towards me, wanting him to lose control and fuck my mouth. Comprehending my intentions, Jasper placed his hands on the back of my head and began thrusting into my mouth carefully. Feeling his erection grow impossibly harder, I knew he was close. Trailing a finger between his cheeks, I brushed it against his entrance lightly and waited. Within seconds, Jasper cursed and exploded; his cum spilling into my mouth as I swallowed around his dick.

Rising from the floor, I pulled up his boxers and pants, tucking him back into them carefully. "How did I do, officer? Was that enough to save me from a ticket?" I asked, smirking. "You seemed to enjoy it."

"I think you have a ways to go yet," he replied, reaching down to press his palm against my hardened cock. "I'm goin' to need to do a strip search to determine what you're carryin'."

"By all means," I agreed, trying to remain serious but unable to stop the grin that was spreading across my face. "Maybe we should go somewhere a little more private?"

"Lead the way," he said, returning my smile.

I headed towards our bedroom, then stopped and looked at him over my shoulder. "Don't forget your handcuffs, baby. You might need them."

_**05/14/2010, 14:27 - JPOV**_

Jesus fucking Christ, this man was going to be the death of me. Not only did he not think I was insane, it seemed as if he was enjoying this wholeheartedly. At least, I thought he was. If the amazing blowjob I'd just received was any indication, I was pretty sure that he was just as into this as I was. And that little remark about the handcuffs? Let's just say that my dick wasn't the only thing that had been blown.

After rescuing my handcuffs from the floor, I eagerly followed Edward down the hall to our bedroom, closing the door behind us to keep the voyeuristic Cletus at bay. Regaining my composure, I watched as he stood in front of the bed. "Take off your clothes and lie on the bed," I ordered as I sat at the foot of the bed. After pulling his shirt over his head, Edward unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them off, revealing his hard cock. "Just as I thought. You're definitely carryin' a weapon," I observed with a smirk. "That's a punishable offense."

"Really? And just what are you going to do about it, officer?" he said slyly, hopping up onto the bed and lying on his back, his cock slapping up against his stomach. He reached down and began lazily stroking it, deliberately testing my limits. My eyes widened and I felt my own cock begin to spring back to life. Grabbing the handcuffs from the dresser, I climbed up on the bed and hovered over him.

"Well, first I'm goin' to put your hands where I can see them at all times," I replied, grasping his hands in mine and moving them above his head. Looping the handcuffs through a slat in the headboard, I encased both of his wrists. I checked to make sure the cuffs were loose enough not to cause any harm before leaning down and whispering in his ear, "If you are uncomfortable or they start to hurt, let me know." He nodded and I bent down to take his lips in a frantic kiss. Plunging my tongue into his mouth, I pressed my fully clothed body against his as he pushed his hips up against me. Groaning, I pulled away and got off the bed to remove my clothes.

Edward's eyes followed my actions hungrily and I deliberately slowed my movements to torture him. Tossing my hat onto the chair in the corner, I reached up and removed the tie that held my hair back from my face. I shook out the wild curls, knowing it would drive him crazy. Unhurriedly, I unbuttoned my uniform shirt and took it off. Toeing off my shoes, I unfastened my pants and pushed them and my boxers down. Standing at the foot of the bed, I decided turnabout was fair play and began leisurely stroking my cock. His hips lifted in response and I knew that he was as turned on as I was, if not more so. I'd already had a release and he hadn't.

"Do you know how fuckin' hard it makes me seein' you all spread out for me? Seein' your cock hard and ready, knowin' that you are at my mercy?" I rasped out, crawling up onto the bed to hover above him.

I laid my body on top of him, chest to chest, legs entwined. Grinding my dick against his, I whispered into his ear. "I'm goin' to make you cum so hard, babe, you're goin' to forget your own name," I promised as he moaned and strained against the handcuffs. "But first, I'm going to lick and suck every fuckin' inch of you."

I pushed myself up with my hands and began trailing open mouthed kisses across his collarbone and chest, brushing my hair across his sensitive nipples. "Fuck…Jasper!" he whined, squirming beneath me. I grinned up at him in response.

"Impatient already?" I asked. "You'd better pace yourself; I plan to take my time with you."

And I did. I caressed every inch of his luscious body with my fingers and my mouth, except I avoided his erection completely. By the time I reached his thighs, he was pleading incoherently for me to fuck him already. But I had a favor to return first. I pushed his legs up towards his chest, revealing his delicious ass to me. Spreading his firm cheeks, I exposed his entrance and began running my tongue around the sensitive tissue. "Jesus Fuck…Jasper! Oh God…OH!" he screamed out and I heard the clink of the cuffs as they pulled against the headboard.

Popping up to look at him, I said, "Like that do ya? I think you'll like this more." Returning to my position, I bit one of his cheeks gently before plunging my tongue into his entrance. Edward shrieked my name and I felt his muscles tense as cum erupted from his cock. I moved back up his body and encased his dick with my mouth, cleaning him up. Once I finished, I lapped up the cum from his stomach and chest and holding it in my mouth, moved up to kiss him. Our tongues fought each other for the salty fluid. Finally, needing air, I pulled away and laid my head on his chest.

Once the furious pounding of his heart slowed a bit, I flicked one of his nipples with my tongue, listening with glee as he moaned. "I'm not done with you yet," I said, looking up at him with a grin. Running my hand across his abs, I brushed the sensitive tip of his cock and delighted when his hips jerked up in response. Grabbing the lube and a condom from the nightstand, I began preparing him for me. Sinking two slicked fingers into his entrance, I purposefully rubbed them against his sweet spot, watching as his cock hardened once again as he fucked my fingers as best as he could considering the constraint of the cuffs.

"What are you doing to me?" he cried desperately. "Jasper, baby…please…I can't take much more."

Removing my fingers, I encased my erection in a condom and coated it with a layer of lube. Spreading his legs, I knelt between them and fitted my cock to his entrance. Ever so slowly, I sunk myself into him, enjoying the sensation of his tight warmth. Once he'd taken all of me in, I threw my head back in ecstasy, overwhelmed by how right it felt every time I was connected to him this way. Leaning forward until our chests were nearly touching, I brushed my lips against his and whispered, "I love you, Edward. More than you'll ever fuckin' know."

"I need to touch you. Please?" he whispered plaintively, yanking against the restraints. Reaching over to the nightstand, I grabbed the key and freed him from the cuffs. Once his hands were unbound, I pulled his wrists to my mouth, soothing them with gentle kisses. Satisfied that he hadn't hurt himself, I entwined my fingers with his, pushed his hands down on the bed next to his head, and began thrusting gently.

"Love you…" I chanted, growling when he planted his feet on the bed and pushed up against me as I thrust into him. He purposefully tightened his inner muscles around my cock and now I was the one screaming. "Fuck…Edward…yes!"

I spread my knees to go deeper and the change of angle insured that I hit his prostate each time I drove into him. "Yes! Right there, Jasper. Harder!" he hissed as I increased the pace. I lost track of time and space as we moved together, pushing each other towards climax. When I felt my orgasm drawing near, I tightened my grip on his hands and leaned down to catch his lips in a ferocious kiss. When he pulled my lower lip between his teeth, I let go, losing myself to the rapture of my body in his. He followed close behind and I felt the warmth of his cum between our stomachs. After removing the condom and tossing it in the wastebasket next to the bed, I collapsed on top of him, not caring about the sticky mess between us. Sighing with happiness, I kissed my favorite place under his jaw.

I felt his fingers tangle in my curls as he said, "Love you baby. Thank you for doing this for me."

"I didn't hurt you did I?" I asked uncertainly. With Edward I felt like I could let my guard down, show him all of me, even the dominant side, and know that he would still love me afterwards. The sexual encounters of my past had been pretty vanilla compared to our sex life lately and I needed reassurance that I wasn't pushing him too far, too fast.

He pushed until I lay on my side and then faced me, cupping my face in his hands. "You didn't hurt me, Jasper. I enjoyed every minute of it. I love that we can be this way together. That we can let go and lose control with each other. I've never been this way with anyone before because I've never trusted anyone the way I trust you, never loved anyone the way I love you. So don't you dare regret the way we make love to each other," he said fiercely. "Even when it's rough or when you are in control, every touch of your hand shows me how much you love me."

Choking back emotion, I wrapped my arms around him and held him tightly. "I do. I love you so much, Edward."

We lay there in silence, gently caressing and reaffirming our love for one another. Eventually, we got out of bed and after sharing a shower, headed into the living room to watch some TV. Sniffing the air, I asked, "Do I smell cake?"

"God, you are worse than Cletus," he teased. "But, yes, I did make a cake earlier. Want some?"

Nuzzling my head under his chin, I produced my best puppy dog face and replied, "If it wouldn't be too much trouble?"

"No trouble at all," he said, kissing the top of my head. Pushing me toward the couch, he added, "Find something for us to watch and I'll be back in a minute."

Turning on the TV, I flipped through the channels until I found the Food Network. I couldn't cook worth a damn but for some reason I found the shows relaxing. Besides, I knew that Edward enjoyed them. I was just about to relax back into the cushions when I heard a shriek from the kitchen and Edward's voice shouting, "God damn it! Cletus!"

Wondering what was going on, I made my way to the kitchen, nearly tripping over Cletus as he skidded past me in a dead run. Edward was standing by the island a look of intense displeasure on his face. When I reached him, I looked down to see a half eaten cake in his hands. Bursting into laughter, I said, "Apparently I need to put the cuffs on Cletus."


End file.
